23/06/2017

Now they are gone





Well it’s been two months since I last wrote, usually this means that things have been going well and I haven’t needed the catharsis of writing, but between the 23rd April and now, a lot has happened.

So, when I left you I was picking myself up after breaking it off with a guy with whom I’d spent three wintery months hibernating in a sort of placid, platonic intimacy that I think comforted us both, excited neither of us, and which certainly wasn’t ticking any new boxes for me. Then he drove me into a lamppost on Valentine's Day and things rapidly went downhill. Since then I've celebrated my twin sisters' birthday with a fancy meal in Birmingham, visited friends in London (one of whom is pregnant and the other who has a gorgeous new baby boy), and been to Brighton where I utterly failed to keep up with the partying but got to hang out with friends on the beach. The weekend that I last posted on this blog I also saw the fantastic production of Jane Eyre by the National Theatre, and spent a wonderful afternoon at the Spa with (yet more) pregnant friends, having a relaxing massage.

Just two days after that post however, on the 25th April, my Nana died.

23/04/2017

Body Positivity: Notes From a Determined Woman

I read three things, good, bad, and inspiring, in the past week that were served up to me via the body positive sources I have filled my world with. Now I have feelings about them that won't go away so, you're welcome ... 


First the worst

This New York Post article has been doing the rounds, "Why I Won't Date Hot Woman Anymore". The title alone is of course obnoxious, the entitlement, the arrogance, my teeth were grinding before I even read it, and I probably shouldn't have read it at all. I won't go into the long, long list of reasons why it's just unbearable, but I will say that my overwhelming feelings were of disbelief and pity. Who are these people who are choosing their partners, who they're presumably expecting to stay with for many years, purely on their looks? I understand sleeping with someone as a one off because you're superficially attracted to them, but to continue to date that person that you view as a sort of ... human accessory? How is that not soul-sucking? Looks fade and do you really want to be bored for the rest of your life? Don't you want to be cared for, to love, to have fun, and share meaningful experiences with a person you actually like?

21/03/2017

And Then the Wheels Fell Off

How long is too long to wait for someone to tell you they don’t actually want to be with you?

I spent this winter hibernating in the arms of HP Guy who was good company, kind, and who appeared to enjoy spending time with me. That passion I was looking for somehow never seemed to be there though, despite him insisting he wanted to keep seeing me. Eventually I began to wonder, have I just been caught in another comfort and company thing? I questioned what was going on and received an eerily familiar reply.

“Yeah I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm sorry my mind's been on other things for too long and I haven't devoted enough time to you as I should; and that's not fair.
It's a bizarre one, because I really like you and really enjoy your company. But maybe my head space isn't right, right now, and I'm having trouble committing, which is the completely honest answer. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
I would enjoy carry on hanging out - lots, but maybe we put the dating thing on hold for now. 
It's the classic not you it's me thing and I know that sounds terrible but yeah x”

30/12/2016

Snuggling, Kittens, and Resolutions

Hi, I hope you had a lovely Christmas! I'm writing this just before packing up my stuff to head to the Cotswolds to stay with a friend for New Years. I can't wait to see her and to catch up with others, but must admit I'm sort of ready to go back to work now too! Weird I know.

There haven't been any other posts this month because I've been a little distracted. The thing I've been distracted by is a man and the reason there have been no posts is because I've been wondering if this one might turn out to be an actual thing. Writing about random dates is one thing but once you're past that third date mark how do you honestly write about your experience whilst still dating the person?

I guess the first step is a pseudonym. Let's just call this guy ... Harry Potter dude, or HP for short. This stems from the fact that he was lucky enough to be an extra in all the Harry Potter films, which is obviously amazing and should definitely have been what he led with on his profile. In fact our first date was to see the Fantastic Beasts film, followed by lunch and shopping for a Christmas tree and decorations for his new house. I mean ... it might have been my perfect date ... except for the fact that he recently suggested I go kitten shopping with him in the new year. KITTEN shopping, come on!

28/11/2016

Gilmore Girls Revival: A Somewhat Cynical Review


Today it is 3C outside and my plan (having not set my alarm and still only managed to sleep til 8:30 ...) is to finally watch the new Gilmore Girls. Not gonna lie, I've been looking forward to this ever since it was announced. It's slightly bittersweet though, half of the anticipation was about watching and dissecting it with my fellow geek who was equally in love with these girls, their sweet town, and odd lives. Much like the Stars Hollow seasons are about to roll by though, they've scooted past in real life too and now I'm in my jim jams, watching it with only a hot chocolate, a pack of marshmallows, and emergency emotional sideswipe kleenex for company. So, dear internet, I figured I'd whack my commentary on this here blog, as I watch. It's a lazy post to be sure but I was so looking forward to it, until it came to watching it without my equally obsessed person, that I'm feeling a little sad about the whole thing honestly, so here goes (spoilers ahead ... obviously):

© The Book of Eleanor, 2016 (All Rights Reserved).
Blog Design by Get Polished